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07 October 2006 @ 09:05 am
you know whats weird?

wanting to watch a movie but remembering its at my dorm then finding out its playing on tbs.

too bad i found out too late so i only got to watch the last 20 minutes of it. i could have watched almost all of it had i looked on tv. it really does suck.

i really really really want to watch the mummy.
12 May 2006 @ 10:25 pm

You Are a Green Apple Jelly Bean

Of all the flavors, you're the most complex and the most real. A little sweet, a little sour, and totally tangy. People can't describe you, but they love you!

Is that true?
12 May 2006 @ 08:29 pm
you know what would start a great summer?

a bon fire.

all of us should go camping. and not far. something about twenty minutes to an hours drive away. and maybe not even camping. just hanging around a camp fire talking.

i dunno. i just thought it would be good to have a get together with everyone. i dont even know when i saw everyone all together. at first, prom comes to mind. but not this one since kim didnt go. but last years prom. it was so long ago. it feels surreal now that i look at it.

i am somewhat pissed but somewhat relieved.

why? because i got a B in photograph. because i got a C in english but i should have gotten a B. and then theres the B i got in math. yessss. i love PT.

so what does that mean? stephanie got a 2.5 GPA. is it that bad? it could be worse but im disappointed in myself.

and i really need to hang out with my other friends. i have friends with the initials jlp.

lol. ok. im good.

i have decided to list my books:

The Boy Next Door: Meg Cabot --- ON: pg. 254| OUT OF:379
Definitely Dead: Charlaine Harris --- ON: 324| OUT OF: 324 ... FINISHED ...
The Magician's Nephew: C. S. Lewis --- ON: 2| OUT OF: 221
Broken: Kelley Armstrong --- ON: 42| OUT OF: 444
TTYL: Lauren Myracle --- ON: 2| OUT OF: 209
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe: C. S. Lewis --- ON: 0| OUT OF: 206
Prom: Laurie Halse Anderson --- ON: 28| OUT OF: 215
Midnight for Charlie Bone: Jenny Nimmo --- ON: 10| OUT OF: 401

Currently reading? The Boy Next Door. Why? Because I like how its written. Mind you, they are all in e-mails. What was I reading before? Broken. Why I changed? Because when I read anny of Kelley Armstrongs books, I have to think about all of the sarcasm and pick up small bits.
Definitely Dead. Why was it called that? Because it always talks about vampires and they're dead. But once they get killed, they're 'definitely dead'. Did I enjoy it? Of course. The guy she actually wanted totally ditched her and I liked him too. But she found someone else. I was somewhat disappointed at that.

I think I'm done talking about this. Yeah, it was boring about books I'm reading but I enjoyed bringing all of my books downstairs and see the large pile waiting for me to read. its beautiful.

Current Music: The Beatles 'Here Comes The Sun'
Current Mood: A Bit Pissed Off
Current Book: The Boy Next Door
Current Craving: Twizzlers
Current Love: Arctic Monkeys
11 May 2006 @ 04:47 pm
last nights dream...

i was getting gas at this old station. i felt like the owners were zombies because it reminded me of day of the dead for some reason. probably one of the scenes, the zombie was a gas station person...lol. worker. yeah, thats the word.

anyways. then i somehow got to a place that reminded me of that guy, tim, from photograph, house. except there was a sun room. it was sunny and warm and i could see the beautiful mountain scenery.

thats all i can rememeber. i may have just woken up from my alarm just then.

this dream, i cant even interpret. its more like things that have happened and movies just re-made in my mind. its so unclear and crappy but i enjoyed my dream. when i was at that gas station, i felt like i was running from something. probably the zombies....

i think im done. i just had to write down my dream.

i also have to talk about something that happened last night but i want to take a nap instead.
11 May 2006 @ 01:45 am
last night...

approximate time of reaching bed:

first time of wake up:

cell phone ringing.

second time of wake up:

house phone ringing

third time of wake up:

house phone ringing. again

fourth time of wake up:

alarm clock.

at that point, i tried to go back to sleep. i finally woke up at approximately 13:38. i really have no idea why im telling anyone of my day today. especially since it was crappy. four hours of sleep and i get a phone call. i hate how people can tell that i was sleeping when i just woke up. im not effing sleeping, i swear!

anywho. saturday, i get to babysit. yey! actually i am excited if you think i was being sarcastic.

when i went to bed at around 4-5 ish, i completely freaked out. why? because it was light out.

you wanna know what sucks? how when it was dark out, i missed having it light. and now that its getting lighter, i miss the darkness. lol. the darkness.

anywho. i too a bit of a nap at around 8? 9? i have no idea. but i woke up at midnight. it wasnt the best of dreams to wake up to. wanna know what i dreamt? well im gonna effing tell you what i dreamt about.

there were two doors. i think it was at the college. it felt like it was at the college but that room wasnt a room i've seen before. it actually kind of reminds me of the section of the college between the library and the bookstore without the windows. both the doors were shut and i had to get out but i couldnt. i was scared. there was so much spider webs surrounding it. i saw this disgusting spider crawling straight at me in the thread of one of the webs. i was terrified. i've never been so scared of it in my life. i wanted to cry.

i woke up before it reached me.

you wouldnt think i just had a nightmare when i woke up. i was completely calm once i woke up. i nearly forgot about it two seconds later but i had a sudden adrenline rush. the part i dont get is how i can be so calm once i wake up. i usually have it still pressed in my mind when i wake up for a while.

i dont know what to do. why do i dream about my fears? i have no idea. maybe because i think i need to face my fear head on. thats why the spider was crawling at me. mind you, it was eye level. i had to go through my fear of spiders to get to the other side of the door.

i dont get it still. whats on the other side of the door? why was it so important for me to get to the other side? i dont think it was to move on with my life. fear of spiders isnt pulling me down from living my life.

it may be the fact that the last thought was of spiders crawling on my bed. actually, it was more be thinking about the bugs that are in the blanket and what not.

i think im gonna go. i have to work today.

oh man, one thing, though. i had taco bell. it was so delicious. lol. took bob home and instead of using gas money for, well, gas, i went to taco bell instead. it was delicious.
10 May 2006 @ 02:24 am
so i am absolutely damn sure of one thing im going to be burning in valdez.

to tell this story, i'll need to rewind about ten to fifteen minutes ago.

i was completely aggitated. i had a great book in front of me which i was intrigued about and excited to finally read it. i shall now go on a tangent...

all in all, i started to love this book especially from the series. this series was all about this girl that had lots of guys after her. i thought it was ridiculous on how many guys loved her. and it pissed me off. nothing like that really happens to a person like that. and this book is when everything goes to shit for her. everything she thought about was just i lie and she completely broke down. i didn't exactly enjoy her turmoil but more to see some reality to it even though its about vampires and what not.

this is the part where it actually relates to what my first point was about, which was my aggitation.

and im starting to read about the part where things get better but then this voice? i guess i could call it that, but more so background music, starts to play in my head.

'I need to find a....new vagina...'

and yeah, it might seem funny that i was thinking about one of the bloodhound gang songs stuck in my head but it kept on repeating...over and over again...
then sometimes, it would change songs. i wouldnt even know the lyrics but it would still play in my head.

i ignored it for the most part until it became unbearable.

i came downstairs, in hopes of playing music to get something else stuck in my head.

i turn on the computer, and find the mouse not working well.

that got me even more upset. at one point, i couldnt even get the mouse on the screen to move.

at that point, i was beyong pissed. i was nearly on the brink of tears because of my menstrual cycle. fortunately for me, i was completely aware of my hormonal change and calmed myself before i did anything irrational, which was burn the fucking mouse in the middle of the room.

now, i have a new mouse that i found in my bedroom that i had for a while...this goes into another long story but to make it short, i knew the old mouse was shit when i used it for my other computer (not my lap top) so i bought a new one. dont ask me why my parents didnt just take the new mouse instead of the old one and put it on this internet accessable computer because my parents have no sense of logic.

i have regained my composure and decided to burn that god forsaken mouse at valdez instead where i will enjoy watching it burn into oblivion.

sometimes i wonder how men even survive with women having their menstrual cycle every effing month....seriously....
07 May 2006 @ 09:29 pm
'it doesnt take much to be louder than you, stephanie'
'yeah, stephanie. your pretty quiet'
---annabelle and my uncle george

its just so weird, dont you think? and in elementary and middle school, i was so quiet. what happened?

gah, i just need to get over it.
07 May 2006 @ 05:45 pm
'isnt she that girl that won that joe blow guy or something?'
---annabelle about joe millionaire

'annabelle's going to palmer and get a condom.'
---my dad, trying to say condo or condominium.

so i think my day has started off well. i enjoy the conversations that have happened today but im troubled with some of the dreams ive had.
the only one i can think of is about maria, my sisters cat. in my dream, she peed and then crapped on the carpet. and all i said was, haha, your cat does it too!

yeah, i know what that means. i want maria to be the scapegoat for my own cats actions.

my dreams are so obvious of the things that are happening in my life.

its leads me into another thought. why did i always have this repeating dream about a t-rex trying to hunt my family?

more than likely, it was because the nights i spent watching jurassic park over and over again.

today, i really wanted to get my two books from my two favorite authors. i didnt get them because my father didnt want to go. it doesnt surprise me.

on another note, next week is the big valdez trip. and stephanie has succeeded in not telling her parents.

is that a bad thing?


and i really need to tell them.

oh and i am so stupid that i could have sent my transcript by mail when i sent those pfd papers to professor tomazos but i didnt. because, like i said, im so stupid.

you know what i find weird about my life? is how two-faced i really am.
i am different when im at home. maybe everyone is but the interpretation that my family gets isnt the same that my friends get.
i have no idea how to ellaborate on that. i just find it weird how people think of me as being this loud person and someone that will always be blunt when at home im just like, i dont want or need the attention, just stay away from me and let me live my life.

and in both im a real bitch.

do i want to change?


will i change?

probably not.

this gets me thinking. will i really like the uk? i have no idea. all i want england to be is somewhere to escape reality but its never going to happen. england isnt my fairytale ending even though i want it so much to become that.

im starting to get over my "i want to go to england so bad" phase and im sad to see it go. it was something i couldnt reach but ive tried for so long to get it, its just hard to let it go. it became part of me. i started to enjoy a lot of english music. i felt more real and less like a poser because no one knew/liked any of the bands that i did. and i liked it that way. if i go there, theres going to be a lot of people that like the same thing i do and i'll just get pissed.

ive had too much time to think.

god. i hate how my sister and i are so much alike. shes just a bitch.

i think im gonna go because now everyone has decided to migrate here.

'it doesnt even matter because once i re-remember about the ice cream and baklava...wait...re-remember?'
---lol, me, of course about eating left-over dessert
01 May 2006 @ 11:18 pm
today i managed to watch the second to last episode of 7th heaven. -tear-

well anyways. the young one is effing 16 years old. you know how weird that is? its pretty effing weird since the last time i saw her was at the age of 10-12.

so. she was babysitting her twin brothers/niece and started talking to this waiter. ah. scottish accent. lol. needless to say, i had this stupid grin on my face. and then he said something. 'thats a pretty baby.'

mind you, in a scottish accent. i started laughing hysterically. why? because it sounded so much of fat bastard from austin powers.

anyways. thats all i have to say.

scottish accents = fat bastard.

lol. im just laughing right now. cause i find this all quite entertaining.

i dont think i can hear a scottish person say baby and not laugh hysterically from now on.
01 May 2006 @ 09:17 am
so anywho. i got added by a scottish band from myspace? randomly. and they put up a bulletin to go vote for them on this website. so i went. and i looked at other bands...
and then i stumbled across a band that i gave a wtf? look. it was these little kids as a picture. im like, oh, its just a cover or something. but no, its 13-14 year old. they have their own band. so im like, ha! thats funny. and then i listened to there music. and im like, woh! thats crazy. they dont suck. lol. 
anywho listen to the right here....

thats all i have to say. oh, and i woke up at 8 for no apparent reason today. but it feels good getting out of bed before 9+

i really have nothing to say right now. except im super uber stressed about the end of this week. 

omg! what if i fail psychology? i didnt even turn in my packet 3 at all. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

im done. wait...fuck....alright, now i think im done.