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11 May 2006 @ 01:45 am
last night...

approximate time of reaching bed:

first time of wake up:

cell phone ringing.

second time of wake up:

house phone ringing

third time of wake up:

house phone ringing. again

fourth time of wake up:

alarm clock.

at that point, i tried to go back to sleep. i finally woke up at approximately 13:38. i really have no idea why im telling anyone of my day today. especially since it was crappy. four hours of sleep and i get a phone call. i hate how people can tell that i was sleeping when i just woke up. im not effing sleeping, i swear!

anywho. saturday, i get to babysit. yey! actually i am excited if you think i was being sarcastic.

when i went to bed at around 4-5 ish, i completely freaked out. why? because it was light out.

you wanna know what sucks? how when it was dark out, i missed having it light. and now that its getting lighter, i miss the darkness. lol. the darkness.

anywho. i too a bit of a nap at around 8? 9? i have no idea. but i woke up at midnight. it wasnt the best of dreams to wake up to. wanna know what i dreamt? well im gonna effing tell you what i dreamt about.

there were two doors. i think it was at the college. it felt like it was at the college but that room wasnt a room i've seen before. it actually kind of reminds me of the section of the college between the library and the bookstore without the windows. both the doors were shut and i had to get out but i couldnt. i was scared. there was so much spider webs surrounding it. i saw this disgusting spider crawling straight at me in the thread of one of the webs. i was terrified. i've never been so scared of it in my life. i wanted to cry.

i woke up before it reached me.

you wouldnt think i just had a nightmare when i woke up. i was completely calm once i woke up. i nearly forgot about it two seconds later but i had a sudden adrenline rush. the part i dont get is how i can be so calm once i wake up. i usually have it still pressed in my mind when i wake up for a while.

i dont know what to do. why do i dream about my fears? i have no idea. maybe because i think i need to face my fear head on. thats why the spider was crawling at me. mind you, it was eye level. i had to go through my fear of spiders to get to the other side of the door.

i dont get it still. whats on the other side of the door? why was it so important for me to get to the other side? i dont think it was to move on with my life. fear of spiders isnt pulling me down from living my life.

it may be the fact that the last thought was of spiders crawling on my bed. actually, it was more be thinking about the bugs that are in the blanket and what not.

i think im gonna go. i have to work today.

oh man, one thing, though. i had taco bell. it was so delicious. lol. took bob home and instead of using gas money for, well, gas, i went to taco bell instead. it was delicious.
feindseligkeitfeindseligkeit on May 11th, 2006 11:50 pm (UTC)
Hey, you're kinda like HP dreaming about getting to the other side of the doors and what not. That's pretty freaking sweet if you ask me!! Maybe not. I hope your godfather doesn't die. :| Maybe I should just be quiet...
unknownunknown_angel on May 12th, 2006 12:46 am (UTC)
lol. you make my day, angel.